Many parents wonder when the right time is to sleep train or when it makes sense for their family. There is no right or wrong answer as it depends on a combination of your child’s developmental readiness, family goals, and specific circumstances. However, there are guidelines and insights that can help you determine the ideal time to embark on this journey.
What Is Sleep Training?
Sleep training is the process of implementing pattern changes and different habits/tools to fall asleep independently and stay asleep through the night, or for longer stretches. It gives the child the ability to put themselves to sleep with a combination of pattern changes, habit stacking, sleep environment changes and so on.
Why Is Timing Important?
Timing plays a pivotal role in the success of sleep training. We want our child to be developmentally ready from the sleep side as well in combination with it being the right time for the entire family to implement the pattern changes.
Let’s explore how age and developmental milestones influence the process.
The Newborn Stage (0-3 Months): Work on Sleep Shaping (not formal sleep training)
During the first three months, babies are adjusting to life outside the womb. Their sleep patterns are governed by hunger and a developing circadian rhythm, making formal sleep training premature. What we can do is work on sorting out day/nights, implement safe sleep, practice laying down awake with different habits to fall asleep (some days will fall asleep from fully awake with assistance and other days will need full assistance to sleep).
Developmental Highlights:
Sleep occurs in short cycles, typically lasting 2-4 hours.
Babies require frequent nighttime feedings.
Startle reflux is high at birth and decreases over a few months
Tools for Sleep Foundations:
Focus on creating a consistent bedtime routine.
Use wake windows to build sleep pressure for sleep
Practice safe sleep habits (e.g., placing the baby on their back to sleep).
Encourage differentiation between day and night by keeping daytime bright and active while nighttime is quiet and dark.
Observe Quiet/Active sleep and pause during Active sleep to see if they will connect to next cycle.
Practice laying down awake and use assistance (patting/rocking/etc) when needed
Swaddle until startle reflux softens and/or baby starts rolling
4-6 Months: May Start Sleep Training (if you want)
Between 4 and 6 months, most babies circadian sleep rhythms are mature, and they are developmentally ready for sleep training. They begin to consolidate sleep cycles and show the ability to self-soothe.
Developmental Highlights:
Circadian rhythms are more established.
Many babies can sleep 6-8 hours without needing a feeding (check in with pediatrician for verification for your child).
Increased ability to adapt to new routines and follow patterns.
Why It’s the Best Time:
Babies sleep routines are pretty new and can move from unsustainable sleep patterns to more sustainable ones a bit faster.
They’re developmentally ready to learn new patterns and self settle more
Parents often feel more settled into their routines by this point and are ready to make pattern changes from the sleep perspective.
Tools and Strategies:
Maintain or introduce a consistent bedtime routine (e.g., bath, book, song, bed).
Use positive sleep associations (dark room, sound machine, sleep sack)
Choose a sleep training response that aligns with your parenting style and baby’s temperament.
Ensure an age-appropriate sleep schedule and conducive sleep environment, including a dark, quiet room and a firm crib mattress.
If rolling, move from swaddle to sleep sack.
6-12 Months:
This age has lots of development milestones that can appear during sleep training which may make a parent hesitant to implement pattern changes. Many families I work with in this age range developed a new skill while we worked together, and babies moved through the development while learning a new pattern/skill together.
Developmental Highlights:
Babies can often sleep through the night without feedings by this stage (verify with your child’s pediatrician).
Developmentally, we see sitting up, rolling, standing, teeth and first steps.
Why It’s a Good Time:
Babies’ understanding of patterns and cause/effect keeps maturing which helps in establishing the new patterns of sleep training.
Sleep challenges can impact developmental leaps, making this a good time to establish consistency.
Tools and Strategies:
Use age-appropriate schedule and/or wake windows to help with establishing consistent naps, bedtime and feeding times.
Use consistent responses and soothing techniques during nighttime disruptions.
Lots of motor practice (crawling, pulling up and so on) outside the crib to get the motor expenditure out during the day so that it affects sleep less overnight.
Stay consistent with the chosen sleep training response to build predictability and consistency.
12 Months and Beyond:
Sleep training older babies and toddlers is possible but can require more effort, as separation anxiety can pop up in combination with their growing independence. The positive is it is never too late to change patterns of sleep if that is what we want for our family.
Developmental Highlights:
Increased cognitive and emotional awareness can lead to bedtime resistance.
Toddlers may test boundaries, requiring firm but gentle consistency.
Why It Can Be Challenging:
Older children may have stronger sleep associations.
Parents may feel more reluctant to enforce boundaries due to resistance or tantrums.
Tools and Strategies:
Use 10 minutes of child lead play a day to help build that connection during separation anxiety which will help during the sleep process.
Involve your child in having a “choice” in their bedtime routine to foster cooperation. For example, do you want to wear red or yellow pajamas.
Offering comfort objects like a favorite stuffed animal to help in separation anxiety.
Signs of readiness for Sleep Training
Regardless of age, look for these readiness signs before starting new sleep patterns:
Healthy Weight Gain: Ensure baby is growing well and no longer needs frequent nighttime calories. If weight gain is declining or you are concerned about it, check in with your pediatrician.
Not Snoring or mouth breathing: If your child consistently snores or mouth breathes (outside of being congested/sick), check in with your pediatrician to see if sleep training makes sense.
Timing: No matter what, the timing must be the right time for your family.
Consistency: All members of the child’s care team should be on the same page so that the child has the opportunity to learn the new patterns more easily.
Creating the Right Environment
A conducive sleep environment can make a significant difference in learning their new sleep patterns and seeing overall progress from these changes.
Here are my go to’s:
Darkness: Use blackout curtains or shades to block out light. We need it SUPER dark, think cave like, for sleep especially day sleep.
Sound Machine: Minimize disruptions with a sound machine on white, pink or brown noise.
Comfortable Temperature: Keep the room between 68-72°F.
Safe Sleep Space: Ensure the crib is free from loose blankets, pillows, or toys for 12 months and younger.
No Electronics in room: Check sound machine, humidifier or the monitor to see if it has a light emitted from it (typically to show it is on). See if that feature can be shut off or put a piece of black/dark green electric tape over it (be sure it doesn’t interfere with the functioning of it. If it does, don’t cover it!)
Common Challenges and How to Address Them
Night Wakings: Stay consistent with your response. Avoid reintroducing or adding unsustainable sleep associations.
Regression: Temporary setbacks may occur during growth spurts or milestones. Stay consistent in response and routines to help navigate through these phases.
Inconsistency: Have all members of the child’s care team on the same page so it helps the child in understanding their new sleep patterns.
Sleep training is not something that has to be done by a certain time or it’s too late to sleep train. If what you are doing sleep wise works for your family, no need to change it! If that changes, sleep training is an option that you can use to help implement new sleep patterns. If we are looking for sustainable sleep for your family, let’s schedule a Discovery Call and get started. I am here to support you!
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